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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961759">Thoughts for Our Brothers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCrows/pseuds/TwoCrows'>TwoCrows</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime &amp; Manga), Yu-Gi-Oh! Zexal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Afterlife Meeting, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Referenced murder, Self-Blame</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:27:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,507</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24961759</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoCrows/pseuds/TwoCrows</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Amane has been asleep for so long that when this faint, lost voice wakes her, she can’t help but answer to it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bakura Amana &amp; Yagumo Yuji, Bakura Amane &amp; Bakura Ryou, Yagumo Kyouji &amp; Yagumo Yuji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Thoughts for Our Brothers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="entire">
  <p class="first">Amane was woken by a low sound. At first she thought it was the distant, gentle sound of her brother, seeping to her through the walls of sleep, but then she noticed this one was different. It was a shaky, sniffling sound, as though someone was crying, but didn’t want anyone else to hear them. </p>
  <p class="work">Slowly she opened her eyes and sat up. The Shimmer Hall was pleasantly warm and filled with a faint, blueish light which made it such a nice place to rest. Although it was so big one could see neither walls, a ceiling, or even the floor, it wasn’t a bigness which made one feel small or unimportant, rather as if one could be everywhere one liked without fearing to be disturbed by anything. </p>
  <p class="work">That’s how it was supposed to be. But now a sound had reached her, which meant there had to be something else nearby. </p>
  <p class="work">She put out her tiny foot and when she leaned forward, a small petal of light appeared beneath it, giving the vast, empty hall the sense of ‘floor’ humans needed to move. She took a few more steps, drawing a glowing trace of petals into the void, which stayed for a brief while before it faded to nothing. </p>
  <p class="work">Ah, that sight never failed to amaze her. Sometimes she’d run around for hours, half dancing, half cartwheeling, to see what pretty patterns she could make this time. But not now. Now was not the time for that, she reminded herself. </p>
  <p class="work">Setting one foot in front of the other, she headed into the direction of that weird, sniffling noise. A little to the right she encountered one of the blueish shimmering flakes of light which drifted aimlessly through the Shimmer Hall, making it seem like there was a slowly changing veil of stars around. It had been those flakes which had made her give this place its name when she had first come here. </p>
  <p class="work">After a while her steps led her downwards and the petals beneath her feet changed their shape, looking more like the steps of a winding staircase now. There were other changes too, like the slightly colder temperature or the shadows which had started to form walls on both sides, clear signs she had left the Shimmer Hall. She knew where this way was leading and it sent a little shiver through her. </p>
  <p class="work">The Gate. </p>
  <p class="work">She didn’t like the Gate. It was the only clear boundary at this place, the only thing which defined a here and a there. For a moment she thought of turning back, but then she scolded herself for that thought. It would be rude to go away without looking for the origin of that noise. </p>
  <p class="work">She proceeded to descend the stairs, until one of the indistinct walls gave way, revealing the massive, dark shape of the Gate. Although it didn’t come close to the vast infinity of the Shimmer Hall, it had the ability to appear unbelievably large and intimidating. </p>
  <p class="work">She knew that and so she wasn’t surprised to see the small figure of a boy cowering in front of it. His head was facing the ground and his shoulders seemed to tremble as he gave out that low, whiny sound. </p>
  <p class="work">“Hey, you. Are you crying?” </p>
  <p class="work">The boy started and his head flicked around. Teardrops were shimmering in the corners of his eyes. He didn’t answer though. </p>
  <p class="work">“You look weird”, she said and walked over to him, a friendly smile on her lips. As she came closer, he raised his head, staring at her widely. </p>
  <p class="work">“Who… Who are you?” he asked, quietly, as if he wasn’t sure whether he was supposed to be glad or afraid. </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh, right. My name’s Bakura Amane. And who are you?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Yagumo”, the boy replied insecure. “Yagumo Yuji.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Nice to meet you, Yagumo-kun”. </p>
  <p class="work">He started again and stared at the hand she offered him, but then a timid smile tugged at his lips. </p>
  <p class="work">“You can call me Yuji”, he said and took it. </p>
  <p class="work">“Thanks, Yuji-kun. Now, why are you crying, huh?” </p>
  <p class="work">The little bit of confidence which had built up in his posture faded at once and he cowered together again, uneasy and scared. </p>
  <p class="work">“Umm… I… I don’t know where I am. What is this place? And what is…?” He glanced at the Gate in front of them. </p>
  <p class="work">Amane’s gaze followed his and wandered up to the darkness where the Gate met the shadowy vault which formed the ceiling of this hallway. </p>
  <p class="work">“This is where people go after they die.” </p>
  <p class="work">Despondently Yuji cast down his eyes. “So that means… I really am dead.” </p>
  <p class="work">She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder before he started sobbing again. She wished she could do more, say something to help him, but she knew everyone had their own way of coping with their death. Saying the wrong things now would only ruin everything, so she remained quiet and tried to express her sympathy just through the touch of her palm. </p>
  <p class="work">His shoulder was trembling ever so slightly as he tried to regain control over the turmoil of feeling inside him. She could feel them too, the shock of being torn out of one’s life, the sadness of being separated from one’s loved ones. To her surprise there was no anger among it, not even a little. Some of the people who passed through here were so full of grudges, resentments and hatred she could sense them from far, far away, but Yuji was completely unsullied by that. </p>
  <p class="work">So pleasantly pure. </p>
  <p class="work">“M-My brother”, he whispered tentatively. “Am I going to see him again?” </p>
  <p class="work">This time it was her who started. A brother… </p>
  <p class="work">“Is he still alive?” she asked. </p>
  <p class="work">“Y-Yes.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Then I’m sure you’ll see him again someday.” </p>
  <p class="work">“You think so?” </p>
  <p class="work">She nodded positively. Yes. If there was one thing she truly believed in, it was this. </p>
  <p class="work">“I see.” He gave out a sigh and after a moment a relieved smile cracked his lips. “And… what happens next?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Next?” </p>
  <p class="work">“I… I died, right? What do I do now?” </p>
  <p class="work">She made a thoughtful sound as she spread out her arms and set one foot in front of the other, drawing a slow circle around him. “I’d say that’s for you to decide.” </p>
  <p class="work">He blinked in surprise, his head following her while the rest of him stayed sitting on the ground. “For me to decide?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Uh-huh.” She swayed a little, as if she was about to lose her balance, but caught herself easily and hopped back with a fleet-footed twist. “Most people choose to go through that gate. I think behind it is what people call heaven, realm of the dead or afterlife. I don’t know for sure though.” </p>
  <p class="work">“So you haven’t been there?” </p>
  <p class="work">She shook her head. </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji’s gaze wandered to the Gate and an anxious shadow flashed over his face. </p>
  <p class="work">“Are you scared?” she asked. </p>
  <p class="work">He ducked his head. “Yes. I am scared. I don’t know… if I have the courage to go through that gate.” After a moment he looked back at her. “And what happens if I don’t go through it?” </p>
  <p class="work">“You can stay here of course”, she answered, smiling. “It may feel a little strange, but it’s not the worst place to be at.” </p>
  <p class="work">He considered her for a brief while before he turned back to the Gate again. “Are there other people here?” </p>
  <p class="work">“A few, yes. I’ve rarely met any of them. Most don’t want to be found.” </p>
  <p class="work">“And why do they stay?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Different reasons”, she muttered absently. “Some are afraid of the punishment they might face when they go on. Some don’t want to let go of the world of the living.” </p>
  <p class="work">“What about you, Amane-chan?” </p>
  <p class="work">Warmth flooded into her, making her freeze on the spot. </p>
  <p class="work">“This is the first time”, she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes. “The first time in forever that anyone has said my name.” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji looked dumbfounded by her sudden change. “Err… Umm… Sorry, I should’ve asked you before…” </p>
  <p class="work">She shook her head and a bright smile grew over her face. “No, it’s fine. It just makes me happy. That’s all.” Taking a deep breath, she calmed herself down and focused back on his question. </p>
  <p class="work">“I was too afraid to go through the Gate on my own, so I lingered here. My brother used to write me letters from time to time. That’s been a great help to me.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh. You have a brother too?” </p>
  <p class="work">She nodded. “I loved to hear about what he was doing. How his days at school were. About the things he did with his friends. The first job he got.” She sighed as more and more of those blissful memories came to her mind. “I guess at some point I just stopped wanting to pass on. It’s not necessary for me anymore.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Hmm… I see.” </p>
  <p class="work">He didn’t look like he had decided yet, but his initial fearfulness seemed to have faded. At least that was something good, she thought as she resumed her walk around him, though now she changed from the boring circle to a butterfly-shaped path. Small lights shimmered up where her feet touched the floor, not as pretty as the ones in the Shimmer Hall, but they were able to distract her from the dark presence of the Gate. </p>
  <p class="work">“Your brother”, Yuji began shyly. “He sounds like a nice guy.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Uh-huh, he is”, she replied, smiling broadly. “And he’s totally awkward too. Whenever he’d meet someone new, he’d be all timid and hide behind my mom or my dad. A little like you.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Huh? I-I’m not timid”, he insisted, though the way he ducked his head after that made him seem so awkward she couldn’t help but chuckle. </p>
  <p class="work">“My brother used to be very much into tabletop games”, she continued, deliberately ignoring his embarrassment. “His favourite were Role-Playing-Games. He spent hours and hours sitting over the board, making all those little details out of cardboard. He even wrote entire campaigns that would lead the players through his worlds.” </p>
  <p class="work">Suddenly there was a bright noise and she looked up, though it still took her a moment to realise where it had come from. Yuji had laughed. It’s been a terribly long time since she had last heard anyone else producing such a warm, pretty sound. </p>
  <p class="work">“That sounds like fun”, he muttered and leaned back, propping both hands on the ground. “My brother loved games too. His favourite was a card game called Duel Monsters. Do you know it?” </p>
  <p class="work">She tilted her head, trying to remember. “Hmm… I’m not sure. How do you play it?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Err… Well… Both players start with a card deck and a total of four thousand Life Points. During the game they summon Monsters and use Spell and Trap Cards to gain the advantage and reduce the opponent’s Life Points to zero.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh, so it’s like Magic and Wizards?” </p>
  <p class="work">He blinked surprised. “What’s that?” </p>
  <p class="work">She smiled. “It’s a card game my brother explained to me in one of his letters. From what I remember it’s played similarly to what you just told me. I think he and his friends went to a tournament once.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh… Well, Duel Monsters has become so popular a lot of kids are playing it. And my brother was the best. He even became the national champion.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Huh? Really?!” she shouted impressed. “Wow. That’s cool.” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji grinned proudly. “Right? It made me so happy every time I saw him on TV.” </p>
  <p class="work">She sent him a confused glance. “You saw him on TV? So you didn’t watch him in person?” </p>
  <p class="work">All of a sudden his face grew sad. “No, I… I couldn’t.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh. What a mean big brother”, she said indignantly. “He became national champ and didn’t take you to a tournament to cheer him on?” </p>
  <p class="work">“N-No. Th-That’s not it”, Yuji stuttered reluctantly and his mood seemed to plummet further. “Umm… Well… You see, my brother and I didn’t live together. Our parents died in an accident when we were younger and we were separated. My brother was sent to an orphanage while I was taken in by a foster family. We didn’t see each other after that.” </p>
  <p class="work">Amane remained quiet for a moment, paralysed by a mixture of sympathy and dismay. </p>
  <p class="work">“You didn’t see each other again? You didn’t even visit each other?” </p>
  <p class="work">He ducked his head and small tears began to form in his eyes once more. “I… I think my brother tried to, but… my foster parents didn’t want us to meet and so nobody told him where we lived. And even if he found out somehow… he wouldn’t have found me there.” </p>
  <p class="work">She blinked. “And… why not?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Because”, Yuji began and his voice started to shake. “Because it turned out my foster parents weren’t as kind as they had seemed.” He gulped and paused a moment to take a few deep breaths, fighting down the urge to start crying. “At first they were all nice and treated me like I was their real son. Although I missed my brother, I was happy about that and so I tried to be a good son to them too. But… after a while they got problems with money. With every day they grew less and less friendly. They began to shout, at each other and also at me. And one night they simply left and I never saw them again.” </p>
  <p class="work">Softly she placed a hand on his shoulder and he sent her a thankful glance. Pain was carved into his eyes, along with deep, awful sadness. “But you said you saw your brother on TV, right? Why didn’t <em>you</em> go to see him?” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji gazed at her for a moment before he cast down his eyes. “I… I wanted to, but… I was scared. After I was left alone, I was sent to another orphanage. I didn’t know anyone there and nobody seemed to care about me. I just tried not being in the way like before. I… I didn’t have the courage to meet him again.” </p>
  <p class="work">“But why not?” she asked curiously. “He was your brother, your <em>family</em>.” </p>
  <p class="work">“I know!” he replied, his face twisting with sorrow. “Exactly because he was.” He sniffled. “When… When I first saw him on TV, my brother looked so self-assured. As if nothing could ever unsettle him. And he continued to be that way. Some of his opponents were five or even ten years older than him and yet he never lost.” </p>
  <p class="work">Despondently he cowered down, tears streaming over his cheeks. </p>
  <p class="work">“Do you understand? He looked like he had found a meaning in his life. What if… What if I’d just be a bother to him? What if he’d get mad at me and abandon me like my foster parents did?” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji looked really miserable now. His whole body was shaking and once again she couldn’t help but notice how uncomfortably cold it was here. </p>
  <p class="work">“But he was your brother”, she said soothingly, stroking over his shoulders. “You know him. Do you really think he would’ve done something like that?” </p>
  <p class="work">A sad smile flickered across his face. “No. He wouldn’t. But… But maybe he would’ve felt like that. Maybe he would’ve swallowed his annoyance and welcomed me although I’d just be in the way of pursuing his dreams. And… And that would’ve been even worse. I didn’t want him to be forced to take care of his useless little brother.” </p>
  <p class="work">“That’s mean”, she said, anger flashing in her voice. “No matter who your brother is, if he thought like that, he’d be the worst. If I was separated from my brother, he’d be worried sick about me. And he’d be overjoyed to see me again. If your brother really is as cool as you said, he has to feel like that as well.” </p>
  <p class="work">She nodded confidently. </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji stared at her widely. Then he closed his eyes and a single tear rolled down his face. “Maybe you’re right. Big brother… I wish I could’ve seen him one more time.” </p>
  <p class="work">Silently she stroked over his back. She knew the pain he felt and she also knew words weren’t able to ease it. </p>
  <p class="work">“Hey, Yuji-kun…” she began tentatively. “How… How did you die?” </p>
  <p class="work">His gaze flicked to her and after a moment he raised his hand, wiping over his eyes. “Oh. Umm… I was killed.” </p>
  <p class="work">She gasped. “You were killed? You mean… murdered?” She shuddered involuntarily. She had expected him to have died in some kind of accident like her, but… to have been killed by someone… She suddenly felt even more compassionate towards him. </p>
  <p class="work">“Yes”, he muttered. “It was someone I knew. Someone from the orphanage, I think.” His gaze wandered off into the distance. “He saw me watching my brother on TV and we… started to talk about him. I told him the one who had won those tournaments was my big brother. He seemed to be pretty amazed. And then he… killed me. I… don’t even know why.” </p>
  <p class="work">For a while Amane could only stare at him, shocked by his story. He was such a poor boy. And yet… </p>
  <p class="work">“How kind”, she whispered. </p>
  <p class="work">“Huh?” he asked, blinking at her in surprise. </p>
  <p class="work">“You… You are really kind, Yuji-kun. You’ve been through so much, but you are still able to tell me all of this without getting angry.” She cracked a shy smile before she met his gaze. “You really are a lot like my brother. He was also like that, never getting upset, no matter what happened to him. I… think that’s kind of cute.” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji stared at her and after a moment she noticed a faint blush creeping over his cheeks and he quickly averted his eyes. </p>
  <p class="work">“Umm… And… And how did you die, Amane-chan?” </p>
  <p class="work">She hesitated for a moment and then she spun around. “That’s a se-cret”, she said in a sing-song voice. </p>
  <p class="work">“Huh? Hey, that’s unfair. I told you too.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Yes, so?” When she felt his awkward, a little annoyed gaze in her back, she turned around, giving him a teasing smile. “My mom and I died in a car accident. But it all happened so fast I don’t remember much about it.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh.” Yuji cast her an insecure glance, as if he wasn’t sure what to say. </p>
  <p class="work">“Don’t worry. I’m not sad I died. After all I have a nice brother who remembers me from time to time. I don’t need anything else.” </p>
  <p class="work">He blinked and then a faint smile cracked his lips. “I see. Is… Is your mom around here as well?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Uh-uh”, she said and looked at the unchangedly sinister gate looming up in front of them. “She’s already passed on. When my brother shows up here some day, we’re going to follow her together.” </p>
  <p class="work">“That sounds nice.” </p>
  <p class="work">A hint of unease flashed over his face as he slowly got to his feet. </p>
  <p class="work">“What are you going to do?” she asked, curious. “Do you want to stay here too? Hey, we could play together. I’m sure it would be fun.” </p>
  <p class="work">Yuji gave her a warm smile, but at the same time there was also a hint of sadness shimmering in his eyes and she knew his answer even before he opened his mouth. </p>
  <p class="work">“I’m sorry, Amane-chan, but… I don’t want to run away anymore. I feel like if I want to see my big brother again, I have to go forward and start facing my fear. And… that’s why…” His gaze wandered to the Gate. “…that’s why I’ll go through it.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh… Okay.” She lowered her head. She was a little disappointed he wanted to go, but this was a decision everyone had to make for themselves. </p>
  <p class="work">“Amane-chan… Thank you. I think without you I wouldn’t have found the courage to do this.” </p>
  <p class="work">“Hmm? Really?” </p>
  <p class="work">He nodded. Then he took a step forward and placed his hands on the Gate. Although it seemed impossible such a huge and massive gate could be opened by a single person, it opened without a creak and a warm light shone through the gap, gentle and welcoming. Wherever it was he would be going, she was sure it was going to be a nice place. </p>
  <p class="work">“Oh”, he said, hesitating for a moment. “If my brother comes here one day… Please tell him I’m waiting for him on the other side, okay?” </p>
  <p class="work">“Okay.” </p>
  <p class="work">He smiled again and this time it was filled entirely with serene joy. Then he stepped through the gate and disappeared into the light. </p>
  <p class="work">While Amane looked after him, tears began to form in her eyes. It made her sad they didn’t get to play. But she was also glad he had been able to step forward. Somehow she had the feeling he wasn’t going to regret it. </p>
  <p class="work">“Goodbye, Yuji-kun. Let’s meet again someday. And then we’ll introduce each other to our brothers, won’t we?” </p>
  <p class="work">With a faint smile she turned around and began her walk back to the Shimmer Hall. To her surprise she noticed the shadow of the Gate didn’t feel as cold and intimidating anymore. One day she’d go through it too, along with her brother. Hopefully that day wouldn’t come too soon. </p>
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